How to move past conflict isn’t always easy, especially if you’re in the middle of it. Yet, these simple, powerful tips can help you cope with conflict and get beyond it.
“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” – Wayne Dyer.
How to Move Past Conflict: Simple, Powerful Tips
Are you sometimes conflicted about how to move past conflict? It can seem like a pit you can’t climb out of. Also, how often do you feel you have to fight to get your point across? If others don’t seem to listen, do you raise your voice, give up, try to regroup, intensify your persuasive efforts, or do something else?
However, have you ever thought you might be part of the overall problem? For example, are you the one who keeps the argument going when you could let it go?
Don’t Participate
Interestingly, arguments, conflicts, fights, and disagreements have nowhere to go if you don’t participate. Yet this is exactly the point. Although there are times when another person is so unreasonable, vindictive, and vengeful that they continue a conflict whether you actively engage in their efforts to suck you in or not.
In some cases, that’s what lawyers are for. It’s their job to protect your interests and satisfy them in a legal way that cannot otherwise be resolved.
Proactive Tip:
Remain calm during the other person’s outburst. Although this may seem challenging, your calmness can help defuse the situation. Try these simple, quick ways to stay calm.
On the other hand, here are some tips to help your friend cope during an emotional meltdown.
To Move Past Conflict, Choose Distance
Generally speaking, however, it takes two to tangle. If you want to reduce conflict, think before you rip off an angry retort, whether verbal, in person, or by email, postal mail, or social media.
Besides, remember that no one can make you participate in conflict if you distance yourself. Then, if you need legal protection, seek it.
Use Distraction
Is there a way to distract the other person so they get off the topic? Use it. Drop a pile of papers, empty the dryer, turn off the sprinklers, or get the mail. Also, if it’s time for dinner, ask if you can table the discussion until the meal ends.
However, distraction only works as a temporary measure. It may help diminish the intensity of the conflict and give you time to figure out the best way to deal with it.
Proactive Tip:
Conscious, intentional distraction helps you switch your primary focus to something else, allowing both parties to consider something new.
Lightening the Mood Helps
An excellent way to get past conflict is to lighten the mood. Moreover, if you tell a joke, you completely change the dynamic from conflict to a more neutral interaction. However, if you don’t have a joke handy, turn on a comedy channel, a funny movie, or a TV show.
Remember that laughter can heal many things. A few good belly laughs, hearty chuckles, smiling at something funny, and laughing until tears come to your eyes all qualify as healing remedies.
Leave the Room and Return
Another way to move beyond conflict is to leave the room physically. When you return, the heat of the argument may be gone. Besides, depending on your absence, the person may no longer wish to continue the conflict.
For example, you could say you must respond to an urgent work email, walk the dog, check on the baby, or get to the store to pick up an order, but you’ll be back. Consequently, you’re putting some distance and time between you and the conflict. Many disagreements lose steam this way.
To Move Past Conflict, Ask for Help on Another Matter
Nothing deflates conflict more than asking for help on an unrelated matter. Although the other person may have something they feel must be addressed, if you ask for their help, they’re more likely to pause and think about what to do next than continue the conflict. Therefore, you buy time, allow a transition, and possibly end the conflict for now.
Coping Measures to Try
Consider coping measures you can take so that you think before you speak or act. These include:
- Deep breathing is proven to help restore calm.
- Going for a walk outside increases oxygen and boosts endorphins, helping you to feel good.
- Similarly, vigorous physical exercise elevates your mood and helps you better cope with upsetting situations.
- Meditating helps restore balance and produce calmness.
- Talking with a friend who supports and encourages your goals can help you navigate emotional conflicts.
Besides, having a strategy in place to deal with conflict is proactive. It helps ensure you get beyond inevitable conflict.
Final Takeaways
It isn’t what happens that matters the most, but what you decide to do about it. Make your efforts proactive and positive, and stay above the fray regarding conflict.
However, if it’s necessary to engage in the conflict, do so with full knowledge of the best means of finding a peaceful and agreeable solution. It may not always be easy, but managing and overcoming conflict is possible. Nevertheless, the best way to move past conflict is to avoid unnecessary conflict in the first place.
