Do you realize the powerful value of trust? Many don’t, yet humans cannot successfully relate or interact without trust. How do you use it?
The Powerful Value of Trust: What It Is, How to Use It
Of all emotions, the powerful value of trust is often underestimated and misunderstood. But what is trust, and how do you use it? These tips may help.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway
What Is Trust?
Paul Thagard, Ph.D., defines trust as “a brain process that binds representations of self, other, situation, and emotion into a special pattern of neural firing called a semantic pointer.” Furthermore, he says you must feel good about people to trust them.
Besides, the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy says that trust is an attitude that requires vulnerability, involves reliance, has intrinsic value, and is particularly valuable when it is justified.
How Can You Trust Another Person?
One of the phrases most likely to earn a scoff, along with “The check’s in the mail,” “I’ll call you,” and “I didn’t cheat,” is “Trust me.” Yet, without trust, there can be no genuine interaction, friendship development, or long-lasting bond.
The Powerful Value of Trust: Decide to Trust
If you want to trust another person, you have to be ready and willing to do so. While that may seem like a risk – and it is – you’re not going to find out if that person is trustworthy unless and until you trust them in the first place.
However, this sounds like putting your hand in the fire to see if you’ll get burned, right?
Maybe not.
Expect Reciprocal Trust, Yet Remain Aware
Consider that no one knows everything about another person. You don’t know, for example, whether the driver next to you will speed up and cut you off at the next corner. You trust that the rules of the road and courtesy will come into play, and you’ll proceed safely. Essentially, you’re trusting that driver and expecting the trust to be worthwhile.
- You could get burned, as in getting cut off by that driver. But likely not.
- Trust is also a two-way street here, pun intended. The other driver has to trust that you’ll also operate your vehicle courteously and safely. That’s how traffic safety works. Otherwise, chaos would ensue on the roads and highways.
While you give your trust, though, you still maintain your awareness.
The Powerful Value of Trust in Interpersonal Relationships
What about interpersonal interactions, such as meeting someone for the first time, striking up a conversation, finding some things in common, and taking the preliminary steps toward friendship? How does trust work in this situation?
Trust is the Foundation
The foundation of any lasting, close relationship is trust. Without it, there’s suspicion, second-guessing, failure to tell the truth, holding back, and other forms of deception designed to reveal little about yourself. Even with casual acquaintances, there’s a particular element of trust involved.
How to Trust Another
Trusting another means you open yourself up to some extent. You’re vulnerable and may feel uncomfortable. In most cases, your trust turns out to be valid. If it goes the other way, your choices are to put some distance between you and the untrustworthy person, confront that individual, or accept that what that person says and does is not worthy of your trust.
Trust Is Complex
According to University of Houston research professor Brené Brown, trust is complex, yet you must be clear about your boundaries to trust someone. That way, they acknowledge and respect your limits. Living with integrity is also essential because it builds self-trust and trust with others.
“Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.” – Charles Feltman
- Put succinctly, you trust and remain aware.
- You’re not suspicious or doubtful unless you have reason to be.
- However, you’re not ignorant of reality either.
This is a little like the glass half-empty versus the glass half-full. You can be willing to trust others, believing that most people are honorable and decent, or see others as deceitful, manipulative, and dishonest. Which would you rather be, the one who is positive about humanity or negative?
Let’s begin by embracing the powerful value of trust. Life is more satisfying that way.
