Overcoming guilt and shame over the past can be gut-wrenching. How can you find a way out and be triumphant on the other side? It will take effort, but you can do it.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame: Learn How to Triumph and Grow
When overcoming guilt and shame, what can you do? Are you destined to struggle with them forever, or is there relief? The answer is that there is, but, of course, it requires hard work.
The Root of Guilt and Shame
Overcoming guilt and shame requires examining their root causes. For many, painful memories refuse to leave. The truth is that we all carry with us memories of what we’ve said and done. It would be impossible not to. However, our lives would lack meaning if we didn’t keep some memories fresh in our minds.
- Constant mulling over details of past words and deeds that harmed others is paralyzing. This makes us incapable of healing and contributes to limited horizons and diminished opportunities.
- You cannot be proactive if you are stuck in the past. And the past fuels our current guilt and shame.
The Battle
Think about it. You get up in the morning, and the first thing you feel is worthless. Nothing good can come from anything you do. You think this way because of the daily burden of guilt and shame. However, when you learn strategies to help in overcoming guilt and shame, you’ll triumph over these self-destructive emotions.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame: Remove the Negative
A constant emphasis on negativity is another way that guilt and shame erode self-confidence and prevent healing. Furthermore, negativity breeds more negativity.
- It’s hard to be positive if you think about how bad you feel and worry about how others see you because of your past.
- Even looking in the mirror reinforces the ravages of guilt and shame. Your image reminds you of the terrible person you believe you are now.
Shift the Focus to Positive
Instead of staying stuck in the negative, focus on finding something positive. It can be looking forward to lunch with a friend, working in the garden, or driving. If something gives you joy, you can’t wait to do it. So, add this to your agenda. You’re now focusing on the positive.
“Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena.” – Brené Brown
Forget Self-Punishment
Many people who struggle with guilt and shame engage in a never-ending ritual of self-punishment. Some may even consider themselves sinners.
- But committing transgressions against others that cause harm doesn’t mean a lifetime of penance.
- It also doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve happiness or success.
Beyond being a useless form of self-indulgence, guilt, and shame in the guise of self-punishment do nothing for healing.
When No One Else Can Come In
When you are closed off by guilt and shame, there’s no way that anyone else can get in. Your self-imposed mantle of guilt and shame won’t permit you to let anyone get close, not even a friend.
- After all, who wants to be with me after what I’ve done?
- Thinking this way contributes to sinking deeper into depression and self-destructive coping methods such as drinking.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame Isolation
You must set aside thoughts of worthlessness because of the past. What you most need now is to be with others. Social activities can help mitigate shame and guilt and make you feel better about yourself.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame: Tips to Turning Your Life Around
Look at what you can do to start turning your life around. The key is to take small, manageable steps you begin today.
- Acknowledge what you feel.
- Begin to accept what happened.
- Identify what you can control and what is beyond your control.
- Recognize your triggers and develop coping strategies.
- Permit yourself to heal. Practice self-compassion.
- Remember that you are worthy of love and respect, regardless of the past.
- Discuss your feelings of guilt and shame with trusted others. Talking about them can help you regain control of your life.
- Work to build guilt and shame resilience.
Get Some Additional Help
Guilt and shame that is overpowering, and nothing you do helps require professional counseling. Effective therapy can get you past these counter-productive emotions. Once you begin treatment, overcoming guilt and shame will be less burdensome and more of a relief. You can triumph and grow with solid coping skills and ongoing support.
