Do you know how to be fair to yourself? Most people never think about themselves when it comes to fairness. Yet, self-fairness is essential.
“You cannot be fair to others without first being fair to yourself.” – Vera Nazarian
How to Be Fair to Yourself: Powerful Tips to Help You Improve
If you never think about how to be fair to yourself, it’s time for a change. Are you quick to criticize others? Do you find fault in the most minor things? You might lash out at others to mask what you don’t like in yourself.
- And that’s not fair. Most of all, it’s unfair to you because you can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.
- If fairness is an essential and highly desirable trait, what can you do to be fair to yourself so that you can be fair to others?
This isn’t a trick question. However, it deserves some careful thought.
What is Fairness?
What does it mean to be fair? When you consider a solution to a problem, several options or approaches likely come to mind:
- You might brainstorm and arrive at these, or they may be suggestions from trusted advisors, friends, family members, co-workers, or someone else.
- Some solutions you might immediately dismiss as unworkable, impractical, too costly, or time-consuming.
- However, you may mull over other ideas before categorizing them: toss, analyze further, modify, or use.
Fairness should be considered when weighing the pros and cons of each possible solution. However, it’s often not. Other considerations include expedience, return on investment, recognition, catapulting to the top, or beating the competition.
Ask yourself, is that fair?
Be Fair to Yourself: Avoid Self-Sabotage
Why do people fail to give themselves a fair chance? Furthermore, why have you done this?
- Is it because of a feeling of inferiority or something lacking?
- Have you never received encouragement as a child, have a history of mistakes or failures, or never believed enough in yourself to take a chance?
- Any or all of these could contribute to a lack of self-fairness.
And they’re all examples of sabotaging yourself by being unfair – to yourself, most of all.
Tips for How to Be Fair to Yourself
But this tendency to self-sabotage can be overcome. You can learn how to be fair to yourself. It just takes determination and practice. These tips may help you improve.
Think First
The next time you want to act and think about what you will do, consider if this proposed action is fair to you before proceeding.
- First, are you doing yourself justice?
- Are you taking advantage of strengths and abilities you haven’t allowed yourself to pursue? Or are you doing what others tell you without considering whether it’s fair?
- Figuring out your underlying motivation will significantly aid in your goal to be fair with yourself. You must know what’s driving your behavior before you can change it.
Commit to Self-Fairness
When you insist on fairness to yourself, you’ll radiate that sense of fairness to others. Indeed, it will be easier to be fair with others after you diligently practice fairness.
- For example, instead of demanding employees stop everything to jump on an important project, you’ll consider whether this is a fair request. This means putting yourself in their position so you understand how your request affects them.
- However, if it’s not absolutely critical, you may change the due date, allowing other high-priority items already on your employee’s work schedule to continue.
- Furthermore, the positive reinforcement from grateful employees will add to your recognition that being fair to others starts by being fair to yourself.
How to Be Fair to Yourself: Put Yourself First
Often, you’re the last person on your list. You tend to everyone else’s needs before you think about your own. That’s hardly conducive to overall well-being. It sets you up for disappointment, increased tension and stress, and a general dissatisfaction with life.
- On the other hand, when you consider your needs, in conjunction with or ahead of those you know you need to attend to, you’re inserting balance into your life.
- After all, you need to do what’s right for you so that you can do right for others.
Model Fairness
Be a leader who models fairness. This type of leadership is inspirational and motivational. When you show others that fairness is essential in all dealings, and being fair to yourself is part of that, you’ll demonstrate an admirable trait of influential leaders.
- If you need help with this, take a lesson from some of the world’s most respected and powerful leaders, from Winston Churchill to John F. Kennedy to Mother Teresa. They not only knew what was fair, they embodied fairness.
- Others, seeing such leadership, were inspired to insist on fairness in their lives.
Remember, when you know how to be fair to yourself, you’ll live a more vibrant and purposeful life. Being fair to others will naturally ensue.
