“Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind-stuff. Your life is real.” – Eckhart Tolle
Things tend to get jumbled up in everyday life. What you feel you need to do and what you should be doing for yourself often wind up being far apart. With so many distractions, so much of the mind-stuff going on, no wonder it seems like you’re spinning your wheels. How can you get back on track and stop getting diverted by every demand that you’re confronted with?
Here are some tips on calming the noise, distractions and mind-stuff of life.
Rein it in.
It helps to bring your attention back in, centering it on what’s happening right here and right now. All that other stuff? It’s just a mental maelstrom. Nothing good can come of obsessing over each and every thing. The only way out of this mind mess is to reclaim a sense of calm and stillness that resides inside of you. Then you’ll be able to pay attention to the moment, to find the richness and goodness and meaning in life as it exists in the present. For it is true that you only live in the present. You cannot physically inhabit the past or move around in the future. Time travel isn’t possible – not yet, anyway. The reality is here and now. How you choose to live your life is entirely up to you. No one else can make those choices – although some may try to influence yours.
Take time to reflect.
Make time for yourself each day to do some self-reflection. Go into a quiet room, a bathroom, or outside in nature, and sit comfortably and be still for 5-10 minutes. Have nothing else on your agenda but this quiet time for you. Allow your thoughts to come and go and acknowledge the mind-stuff that seeks to derail you and then let it go, gently, without anger or judgment. You’ll get the hang of this with practice. The result will be an ability to come back to the present less distracted and more in tune with the moment.
Eliminate unnecessary demands on your time.
Rid yourself of too many demands. Stop saying yes to everything others ask of you. Know your limits and be adamant that you have the right to say no. This gives you a little breathing room and helps you avoid accepting obligations you have no time, energy or desire for. It might be hard to do at first, especially if you’ve never asserted yourself this way, but you have every right and need to do this for your own well-being.
Learn to prioritize.
Prioritize what is meaningful and deserves your attention. This will help you avoid getting lost in details of some project or task that is better left to someone else, or that you can set aside for later. When you have a clear sense of what needs to be done and when, you’re less likely to feel the pressure to get on to the next thing. You’ll be more inclined to stay in the present, doing your best with your life now.
Be willing to ask for assistance.
Ask for help. It’s OK to ask your spouse, partner or loved ones to support your efforts to simplify your life. Work out arrangements so tasks are equally shared so as not to be a burden on any one person. This not only creates some breathing space, it also serves to improve the overall living situation. Everyone benefits from a little less chaos and more moments of harmony.
Reduce use of electronics and social media.
While staying connected is a good thing, overuse of all those handy electronic devices and an obsession with social media only tends to increase the noise of life. The key is balance. One way to tamp down excessive use is to remove the temptation. Instead of placing your smartphone within easy reach, leave it in a desk drawer across the room, turned off or muted so you’re not automatically drawn to answer incoming calls or respond to incessant tweets.
No doubt the demands of life have you tied up in knots at times, racing to meet deadlines, worried you’ll disappoint others, anxious to get needed information from others and trying to stay on top of everything. Not only is this mind-stuff frustrating, it’s also self-defeating. The harder you press, the more disappointed and anxious you’re likely to become. When you introduce patience into your life, however, it’s like you hit the return button on the computer, ending a sentence and giving yourself pause before going on to the next thought, action or word. Practicing patience helps you be more accepting of others and yourself, instills a sense of perspective and smooths out some of those rough and raucous edges of life.
This article was originally published on PsychCentral.
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