Author: 15893608

10 Tips on The Best Way to Live

Photo by Corina Ardeleanu/Unsplash

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style.” – Maya Angelou

 

Are you searching to get more out of life? Does your daily grind wear you down? Do you want to feel inspired, energized, enthusiastic, creative, and filled with joy? Sounds great, right? Where do we sign up?

You sign up with your intention to live a better way. And that better way begins the moment you permit yourself to absorb all the goodness and positivity that life has to offer.

While there’s no doubt that you’ll experience some trials and tribulations, encounter difficulties and challenges that may seem impossible to overcome, feel sadness, pain, anger, and other powerful emotions, suffer loss and endure hardship along the way, you’ll also find that these won’t defeat your life’s mission: to thrive.

This is, in my view, the best way to live.

It’s not enough to survive the day. That’s just existence. Living is something so much more than that. To truly live, you must be willing to suffer the inconveniences, mishaps, failures, doubts, pain, and sadness, knowing that you’re putting your energy and focus on the good, the compassionate, what stirs your creative juices, makes you laugh and ignites your love. Furthermore, you do it with your sense of style and grace.

Making the transition from mere survival to enjoying life to the fullest will evolve. You don’t just flip a switch and you’re there. It takes some practice and getting used to it. Here are some tips to get started.

  • Every time a negative thought pops into your mind, turn it around to see the positive.
  • Tell yourself you deserve to be who you aspire to be.
  • Give yourself credit for all the good things you’ve done, the accomplishments you’ve made, and the joy you’ve brought to others.
  • When you first open your eyes in the morning, say a prayer of gratitude and welcome the day with a smile.
  • Try to see the other person’s point of view, even if you disagree. Be willing to compromise when necessary.
  • Strive to obtain the best outcome possible in all endeavors.
  • Give your complete effort to everything you do. No half-measures. To live life to the fullest means you give it everything.
  • Share what you have with others. This includes your time, your attention, and your love.
  • When you’re sad, angry, upset, uncertain, in pain, or feeling alone, know that happiness, calm, balance, certainty, health, and companionship are the other side of these emotions. Be hopeful and initiative-taking. You can get there.
  • Never give up. If you breathe, you have an opportunity to live your life according to your wishes, hopes, and dreams.

8 Ways to Let Go of Anger

Photo by Mauro Gigli on Unsplash

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

 

There are lots of frustrations in life to deal with, many of which ignite angry feelings and a desire for retribution or revenge. Some inconsiderate driver cuts you off in traffic. The woman in front of you in line at the coffee shop gets the last pastry – the one you had your eye on. Your co-worker takes credit for the report you researched and wrote. Neighborhood kids smashed your car with rocks, causing extensive damage.

You seethe with anger, wanting to lash out at the perpetrator, giving them their just desserts. But will this do anything to change what happened? Or will it only result in you feeling more miserable as you can’t escape the fire of your anger?

No one would ever pick up a hot coal with their unprotected hands. That’s the action of a fool. Fire burns. Yet, when it comes to powerful emotions such as anger, that’s exactly what we sometimes do: We hold onto it. Expecting a different outcome than us getting burned is the definition of insanity.

If the better way to deal with anger is to let it go, how do we go about doing that? Here are some suggestions:

  1. Walk away. Putting some distance between you and the situation or people that prompted the angry feelings, to begin with, is a logical first step. If you aren’t in proximity to the source of your anger, you’re less likely to lash out and do or say something that will cause harm to another. In addition, by walking away you’ll allow yourself time to cool off so that you can think about what happened more rationally.
  2. Identify why you’re angry. Take the inconsiderate driver that cut you off. This happens all the time. Why is today any different than another day? What is it about being cut off that makes you so angry now? Is it that you’re already late for work? Is it just another in a string of things that went wrong today, and this is the last straw? Are you upset with yourself for failing to complete a task or due to an argument you had with your spouse, child, or co-worker? By identifying what’s underneath your anger, you’ll be better able to get past it.
  3. Let it out. Instead of bottling up your anger and holding it inside like captive coal that continues to burn, find a place where you can let it out with a scream, a vigorous physical workout, a good cry. Letting go of the anger before you decide to confront the person that prompted the negative feelings will allow you to behave more constructively and proactively.
  4. Figure out what to change. Realize that you have three options when dealing with anger: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. Once you decide that there’s something you can do to change the situation, act on that. It will help you let go of the anger and move on.
  5. Own responsibility. Secretly, you might be the one who prompted the situation that made you angry. Instead of trying to shift the blame and punish others, take responsibility for your part in what happened. Even if you only acknowledge this to yourself, it’s a huge step. Then, focus on what you could have done differently so that the next time something like this occurs, you’ll act more responsibly.
  6. Calmly talk with the offender. You’ll need to use the walk-away technique before you confront the offender about what made you angry. When you’ve put some time and distance between you and the person and situation, you’re better able to tell that person how you feel about what happened. It’s important to keep in mind, however, that you’re not going to be able to control how that person reacts. The only thing you can do is express your feelings kindly and calmly. This will help you let go of the anger.
  7. See the anger melting away. The anger you feel doesn’t affect the other person as much as it does you. Knowing this, why hold onto it? Instead, visualize the anger as ice that’s melting away in the heat. Feel the sense of coolness that replaces the anger. This will help you regain peace and kindness toward yourself.
  8. See it from the offender’s perspective. The person who so angered you wasn’t aware he or she was doing anything wrong. They could have inadvertently done something, not out of malicious intent, just without thinking of the potential consequences. Mistakes happen. People don’t necessarily intend to harm. Recognize that you’ve done the same thing to other people. Have a little compassion. This will go a long way toward your ability to let go of anger.

 

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See more on my website, https://suzannekane.net.

Are You Lonely Tonight? How to Combat Loneliness

5 Tips to Banish Loneliness

How to Help Your Child Banish Loneliness

My Best Ways to Deal with Frustration

How to Keep Frustration from Blocking Your Goals

How to Manage Your Anger

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering From Depression

10 Health Benefits of Daily Exercise

10 Ways Nature Helps Your Well-Being

Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and daily positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories of the week from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

 

 

 

 

7 Ways Fear Holds You Back

When was the last time you felt fear? Was it worry about getting sick when so many around you have fallen ill? Was it the agonizing fear that you were going to be fired, your loved one would leave, your finances would tank, your investments fail, that you’d be found incompetent or a failure? Everyone feels fear. Sometimes, though, fear is the last emotion you want to dwell on. Here are some of the ways fear holds you back, along with helpful tips on workable solutions.

1.    Fear Keeps You Stuck

No one likes feeling stuck. If you’re unable to motivate yourself to get going, could fear be the reason for your inaction? Are you afraid to succeed or afraid of failure? Is this a new fear or a recurring one? Have you ever been successful before in defeating this kind of fear?

The only way to become unstuck when fear holds you back is to act. There is a way out of this. The key is to figure out what works best to push past this fear and get moving again.

2.    Fear Makes You Reluctant to Pursue Your Goals

What happened to the list of things you wanted to accomplish in life? What about your short-term goals, those things you hoped to achieve in the next month, 6 months, or one year? Is fear the reason you’ve put those desired goals on the back burner? If so, you’re dealing yourself an unnecessary blow. Not only are you letting your goals slide, but you’re also giving yourself subtle reminders that you don’t deserve to succeed.

Nothing could be further from the truth. You deserve to enjoy success. By working hard and refusing to give up, you’ll push fear to the background and get back to working on what’s important.

3.    Fear is Counter-Productive

The irony is that fear itself never helps you get past the crippling emotion. Also, the more you give in to fear, the less effective or productive you are in most situations. How can you solve a problem or decide if all you’re thinking about is what can go wrong, how ill-prepared you are, or that others will think poorly of you if you fail? Beyond being counter-productive, though, fear is also self-perpetuating. The more you wallow in fear, the more fearful you become.

Recognize fear for what it is. In dangerous situations, it’s a survival instinct that you feel fear. This helps galvanize you to take action to protect yourself and others. Otherwise, fear should not be allowed to keep you from living your life.

4.    Fear Makes You More Likely to Repeat Mistakes

It’s okay to be afraid. But if you haven’t learned from the mistakes you’ve made, fear will take over and certainly propel you into repeating those mistakes. Beyond mere repetition, however, mistakes can be compounded by fear. Making one mistake after another can result in a downward spiral that leads to a complete lack of self-confidence and a serious erosion of emotional well-being.

Take stock of mistakes you’ve made. Write down the lessons you’ve learned from those mistakes. These show that you’re capable of making progress. It’s called life. Everyone makes mistakes. There’s no reason to allow fear to convince you that you’re inept or incapable. You’re not either of those. Believe in yourself and give fear the boot.

5.    Fear Makes you Doubt Your Instincts

After succumbing to fear, or finding yourself unable to think about anything else, you’re not in the best mental state to trust your instincts. Even though you’ve made good decisions in the past, you’re worried that your judgment is now clouded. Worse yet, you allow fear to hijack your determination to move forward. Rather than trust your gut, you endlessly review in your mind all the reasons your instincts are wrong.

Humans rely on their instincts for more than survival. It’s an inner sense of what to do in a situation that has served mankind well for millennia. You do have good instincts. Try listening to them instead of discounting them.

6.    Fear Makes You So Afraid of Failure, You Avoid Acting

Ever hear of being so paralyzed by fear that you can’t do anything? Some people who have a diagnosed mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety, are so plagued by fears that they cannot leave the house. Instead of interacting with others and functioning normally in society, they hide away and shun friends, family, and doing things that bring them enjoyment. When fear paralyzes someone to the extent that they are petrified of failure, they’re more likely to do nothing than take any action.

Remember that inaction is dead-end. By not acting, this is a choice that has profound repercussions. It will not solve any problems and will only worsen existing ones.

7.    Fear, Left Unchecked, Leads to Runaway Emotions

While some fear is normal, allowing fear to run your life is not. When you can’t function in everyday situations because your fear stands in the way, your life is out of control. This isn’t sustainable, either in the short- or long term. For one thing, life is less enjoyable. For another, your emotions, sparked by fear, begin to run rampant. You see danger everywhere. You’re less trusting of others. You also don’t trust yourself to make good judgments.

What kind of way is this to live?

Workable Solutions to Overcome Paralyzing Fear

There are, however, effective things you can do to get past the fear that’s holding you back and resume living a joyful life. To be successful, you must dedicate yourself to making healthy choices and take the risk to make changes in your lifestyle, modifying or eliminating unhealthy behaviors, and recognizing that mistakes do not equal failure. Try these tips to overcome fear:

Employ the 24-Hour Rule

No matter what makes you afraid, one effective solution is to use the 24-hour rule. If you’re afraid of an upcoming surgery, for example, think about getting through the next 24 hours and look at your situation then. You’ll be past the surgical procedure and on your way to healing. You just need to think about that 24-hour mark. This technique works in almost any situation. Can’t wait to go on vacation but you’re afraid of the flight? By the end of the 24 hours, you’ll have completed your flight or been well on your way to your destination. No matter how fearful you are, your fears are blown out of proportion. It’s not as bad as you thought. You can make it through this. Countless people do it every day.

Talk it Over with Someone You Trust

Discussing what you’re afraid of is an excellent way to deflate fear and reduce its hold on you. Keep in mind that everyone experiences fear. We’re human and fear is a human emotion. Listening to how others got past their fears can inspire you to do the same. What worked for them in surmounting fear could work for you also. Be willing to give their tips a try. If nothing else, talking it over with someone you trust is a time-proven way to feel like you’re not alone. This helps boost your self-confidence and encourages you to face your fears head-on.

Start With a Small Act

The only way to overcome fear is to act. If the problem is complex or complicated, start with a small act. This will get you going. There’s nothing like momentum to keep you motivated. Making some progress, even small will help boost your self-confidence and encourage you to keep going.

Keep a List of What Works

Even if this is a new fear, there’s likely to be an example in the past of something similar. That’s why it’s often helpful to keep a list of what’s worked before. It may work again. This may require modification to fit the present situation, but you’re up for the challenge. Besides, succeeding in this instance means you’re adding to your reservoir of resiliency. No matter what the situation, when fear rears its ugly head and threatens to derail you, know that you have a stockpile of techniques to use that will get you past the fear.

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Are You Lonely Tonight? How to Combat Loneliness

5 Tips to Banish Loneliness

How to Help Your Child Banish Loneliness

My Best Ways to Deal with Frustration

How to Keep Frustration from Blocking Your Goals

How to Manage Your Anger

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering From Depression

10 Health Benefits of Daily Exercise

10 Ways Nature Helps Your Well-Being

Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and daily positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories of the week from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

 

 

How to Use Time Wisely

Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

 

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” Auguste Rodin.

 

Everyone has begun a task or project, or spent time thinking about what to do and not yet acted on it. It may be that things planned don’t turn out. Worse, they’re never started. Is all that time wasted? While the obvious response could be yes, the opposite is true – but with a caveat. You’ll never waste time if you use the experience wisely. But how do you do that? Here are some suggestions on how to use time wisely.

Think Long-Term

Life consists of moments. Strung together, they equal the passage of time. Yet it’s impossible to see the time, for humans exist in the present. They remember the past and envision the future, but the only time they must act is now. Even more, a reason to figure out ways to use time wisely. Still, making plans for achieving a goal that requires multiple steps or years to complete means it’s necessary to think long-term.

What does that mean?

Instead of contemplating immediate rewards for actions taken, exercise the discipline to forego a reward now by being patient. See what the future holds when diligent effort pays off for each stage of the goal. And it’s imperative to set benchmark interim goals to be able to see the progress from all the efforts to date.

Some short-term actions may be boring, although they’re necessary. No one gets to the top of the corporate ladder starting at entry-level and vaulting to the executive suite by skipping certain prerequisite steps. It’s necessary to work your way up. Unless, of course, you’re the heir-apparent in a family-owned company or corporation. Even then, the board of directors may have something to say about who takes over as CEO.

Bottom line: See each minor success as another stepping-stone on the way to goal achievement. If it’s worthwhile, it will pay to use this time as wisely as possible. Thinking long-term is a proven strategy to make the best use of time.

Switch Up the Routine to Use Time Wisely

If daily tasks become so boring, they’re something to dread, one sure-fire way to get through everything is to switch up the routine. Instead of starting the day with an unenjoyable task, begin with a quick task that is pleasant or gives an immediate reward. That could be as simple as stopping by the supervisor’s office or desk and talking about what priorities she wants for today. Be sure to engage in pleasantries for a bit. Acknowledge her family or a recent accolade she’s received, or how the team pitched in to exceed a goal or snag an account.

After a few minutes, return to your workspace and take up one of the items on today’s to-do list. Spend some time tackling that project or task yet have a set time to devote to it before diving in on something else. By setting a time limit, the mind gets tricked into working smarter to accomplish more during that time. Besides, you’ll need a break after devoting all your attention to the task at hand.

For another quick reward, and to improve productivity overall, intersperse the routine with a walk outside. This could be at lunch or a coffee break or to confer with associates on the next steps for a team project.

Note that switching up the routine works just as well for employees working from home. We’ve all gotten practiced at getting things done from the home environment. That doesn’t mean we forget about good self-care. Fresh air is an excellent way to recharge the brain and get some sunshine in the process. These are excellent ways to use time wisely.

Share What Works with Others

In group meetings, brainstorming often yields solutions to complex problems. Much of what occurs during brainstorming is tossing out ideas about what’s worked well before or a suggestion based on personal experience. Sharing what works with others opens a discussion. This may dovetail with one or more of the suggestions. Or it could veer off in another direction based on something new that the group arrives at during the brainstorming session.

Sharing can take place without it being a group activity. When faced with the task of strategizing for a long-term goal, put together an action plan and timeline using parts of previously successful campaigns. Divide the work into manageable chunks. Assign relevant tasks to those best suited to them. Confer regularly to check in and see where things stand and who may need help. Celebrating the small wins with others also constitutes sharing what works.

Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be a huge solution. Shortcuts that save time and result in improved productivity are always welcome. Think of this as a tip of the day. Even if the tip doesn’t always work, it may work some time or work for someone else. This is yet another straightforward way to use time wisely.

Find the Lesson in the Heartache

What about personal setbacks and heartache? Sometimes these events seem like time stretched out with infinite pain. Going through depression or anxiety, supporting someone’s recovery from an illness, accident, or substance abuse, and helping someone grieve are some examples. Yet here, too, some lessons can prove valuable in how to use time wisely.

For one thing, the experience, while painful and endless, will end. Things will improve, although recognizing that it will take time and continued effort to get through it may be difficult to do. You’ll find that you’re stronger than you think and possess reserves that build on natural resiliency. You can get through this. That’s a lesson many people discover once they’re on the other side of the heartache. Some learn it while amid their suffering.

When someone’s at the end of their life, they’re not going to find joy and comfort in what’s in their bank account. It’s better to do the best you can each minute of every day. Live fully in the present. Give yourself to others when you can. Money and material possessions mean nothing in the end. What does matter is life and the life you’ve lived. Each moment is precious. Celebrate that and you’ll be on your way to using your time wisely.

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Related Posts:

Why It’s Good That You’re Not Perfect

How to Keep Frustration From Blocking Your Goals

How to Manage Your Anger

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering from Depression

10 Ways Nature Helps Your Well-Being

10 Ways Stress Harms You

10 Quick Ways to Beat Stress

Best Way to Effect Change

Finding Resilience in the Midst of Challenges

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

 

 

Why Deep Breathing Helps Calm Anxiety

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

 

As someone whose friends and family know I’ve endured some heartbreaking challenges and physical and emotional difficulties, I’m often asked how I cope with anxiety. They see my eternal optimism as at odds with the turmoil I’ve gone through in life and wonder what my secret is for dealing with a magnitude of life’s ups and downs. I tell them, quite simply, that it isn’t a secret, yet the most effective technique I’ve discovered to calm anxiety is deep breathing.

How and why does deep breathing work in calming anxiety? The Anxiety and Depression Association of America states that about 40 million adults in America have an anxiety disorder, making anxiety this country’s most common mental illness. If deep breathing exercises can help, surely more people should add this technique to their anxiety-busting toolkit. While my anecdotal experiences may serve as peer advice, to further validate the benefits of deep breathing as an easy-to-use anxiety intervention, I combed research for some scientific answers and offer them here.

Deep Abdominal Breathing Reduces Anxiety and Stress

According to the American Institute of Stress, 20-30 minutes of deep breathing daily is effective in reducing both anxiety and stress. It has to be breathing deeply through the abdomen to produce the best results. What happens during deep abdominal breathing is that the oxygen breathed in stimulates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system. This, in turn, produces a feeling of calmness and body connectedness that diverts attention from stressful, anxious thoughts and quiets what’s going on in the mind.

Researchers Find Why Deep Breathing Induces Tranquility and Calm

Research published in Science uncovered what may be a likely reason why deep breathing is so successful in bringing about a sense of calmness and tranquility. In studies with mice, Stanford University researchers discovered that a neuronal subpopulation in the animals’ primary breathing rhythm generator projects directly to a center of the brain with a key role in “generalized alertness, attention, and stress.” This subgroup of neurons belongs to a cluster of neurons in the brainstem that controls breathing initiation. When scientists removed the neuronal subgroup from the brains of the mice, it did not affect breathing, yet the mice remained in a state of calm. Their calm behaviors increased while they spent less time in agitated or aroused states. Further research, they said, should explore mapping the full range of functions and emotions controlled by the breathing center.

Deep Breathing Turns Off Body’s Response to Stress

When you’re anxious and tense, the body automatically kicks in the stress response. This is known as the “fight or flight” syndrome and is the physiological reaction that occurs from the release of chemicals cortisol and adrenaline. Initially, the stress response helped man respond to external threats to his existence, like fire, flood, marauding wild animals, or an attack by members of rival clans. While not so applicable today, the body’s stress response still throttles up when it senses danger or a threat. Being aware of the danger when it suddenly appears helps us take preventive action to save lives. Yet when stress goes on indefinitely, and the stress response is constant or chronic, it wreaks incredible havoc on the body. Not only does anxiety increase, so do many health risks, such as obesity, heart disease, and digestive problems. Deep breathing, however, turns off the body’s natural stress response, allowing heart rate and blood pressure to decrease, the tension in muscles to relax, and promotes an overall resiliency build-up to better withstand life’s stressors and anxiety.

How Does Deep Breathing Affect Stress?

In a pilot study published in Neurological Sciences, researchers said their results point to the possibility that deep breathing has the capability of inducing mood and stress improvement effectively. The study utilized both self-reports and objective parameters. They noted that deep breathing, particularly as practiced during yoga and qigong, has long been perceived as beneficial to overall well-being. Research of yoga, the oldest known technique for relaxing, has found improvements of a “remarkable” nature in blood pressure, heart rate, body composition, motor abilities, respiratory function, cardiovascular function, and more. Also, researchers found positive effects in mood states, such as anxiety and perceived stress, including deep breathing’s effect on reducing tension anxiety.

Breath Control (Slow, Deep Breathing) Can Decrease Anxiety

Research published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that slow, deep breathing can decrease anxiety by promoting changes that enhance autonomic, psychological, and cerebral flexibility through many mutual interactions. These include links between central nervous system activities that are related to emotional control, parasympathetic activity, and psychological well-being. The psychological and behavioral outputs resulting from these changes produce an increase in alertness, relaxation, vigor, comfort, and pleasantness and a decrease in anxiety, depression, anger, arousal, and confusion.

In a study published in Frontiers in Physiology, researchers Donald J. Noble and Shawn Hochman investigate the effect that sensory nerves around the chest play in deep breathing’s ability to relax the chest during exhalation, thereby triggering baroreceptors (another set of sensors) in arteries. Both sets of sensors, the researchers said, feed into the brainstem, and the resulting slow brain waves produce a state of relaxed alertness. The ideal is six breaths per minute, note researchers.

What if You’re Chronically Anxious?

If you suspect that you may have an anxiety disorder and deep breathing only works sometimes to help dampen the anxiety level you feel, you may benefit from seeking treatment from a doctor or mental health professional. Symptoms of chronic anxiety include, but are not limited to, exhaustion and fatigue, constantly worrying, sleep problems, decreased or increased appetite, digestion problems, difficulty concentrating, and lack of energy. There’s no shame involved in asking for help to learn how to overcome anxiety. While medication and talk therapy may be necessary as you work through how to effectively cope with anxiety, deep breathing and other therapies will likely also be incorporated into the healing plan.

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This article was originally published on Psych Central.

Related Posts:

Why It’s Good That You’re Not Perfect

How to Keep Frustration From Blocking Your Goals

How to Manage Your Anger

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering from Depression

10 Ways Nature Helps Your Well-Being

10 Ways Stress Harms You

10 Quick Ways to Beat Stress

Best Way to Effect Change

Finding Resilience in the Midst of Challenges

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

 

The Extraordinary Power of Perseverance

Photo by Aleksey Kuprikov on Unsplash

 

“Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.” – Winston Churchill

 

When someone is in recovery from substance abuse, addiction, major depression or other mental health disorder, or a medical condition resulting from surgery, an accident, or disease, they’ve got a lot of challenges to face. A hard truth to accept is that not all of those challenges will result in successful outcomes – at least, initially. But that should never dissuade a person from giving their best effort in all instances, for it is only through perseverance and diligence that dreams can be achieved.

Yet, it is also true that most people find that it’s just too easy to become disheartened when things don’t go as planned or anticipated. That is human nature. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if the individual is in recovery or not. Human beings are subject to making mistakes, having clouded judgment at times, often being overly emotional about things when making decisions, and a litany of other contributing factors.

The tendency may be to blame time and place or say that it is just bad luck when it comes to success. But that’s an excuse, a rationalization employed instead of owning up to the truth: We didn’t keep at it, or gave up too soon.

There are good reasons to get discouraged, to be sure. These include attempting a goal without being ready for it, insufficient training, lack of knowledge or experience, and fear of succeeding or failing.

However, that’s all the more ammunition to keep plugging away at plans, going step by step until there is an achievement, at least some measure of success, such as progress along the way that can serve as the reassurance of being on the right track. This serves as motivation when perhaps nothing else will. How else can we explain the success of others who, by all outward appearances, have nothing going for them and seem doomed to failure? Yet, it happens every day that individuals do achieve tremendous success, reach what appears to be lofty goals, perhaps because of or despite the disadvantaged backgrounds they come from or have overcome.

What about those of us who have nothing positive in our history to point to? What if we are convinced that we messed up everything we’ve ever attempted or that we’ve made more mistakes than wise decisions for a long time? We can blame it all on someone else, our preoccupation with making money, an obsessive focus on relationships, or one or more addictions. To the extent that we took our eye off the ball and let our lives slipped into such disarray, or that we ignored symptoms that were evident to others, there may be some valid basis to such explanation. But it is still not owning up to our responsibility for what’s happened. After all, no one forced us to drink or do drugs. No one made us the way we’ve become. We did that. Granted, we may have a biological marker that is a contributing factor, say, to alcoholism that runs back generations in the family. Yet there are thousands of individuals with such markers who do not become alcoholics, so that explanation isn’t universal.

Suffice to say that if we have a bleak history concerning success, it is time to change that. Start working today to achieve small successes. It is necessary to start somewhere. Be sure, however, to make these reasonable goals that have a realistic chance of success. And some things qualify in this area. Take, for example, the goal to treat ourselves better, to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night, to eat regular and well-balanced meals, and get some type of physical exercise each day. These are not tough goals. They should be ones that we can do and be successful in the attempt.

Little accomplishments will begin to add up. Here’s how it works. When we are properly nourished, well-rested, and have increasing amounts of energy because we are getting physical exercise to jumpstart our system, there are multiple physical, emotional, and psychological benefits. There’s no reliance on substances for a jolt or to numb reality. Therefore, welcome the opportunity to live clear-headed and free of alcohol and drugs. This is the path of healing from addictions. This is also an example of taking the first steps in a personal path of recovery from any medical condition, disease, tragedy, or emotional disturbance or illness.

Be sure too to make use of the support and encouragement that’s readily available to us from our family members and loved ones. Only those who are committed to our recovery can offer the kind of unflagging support that’s so crucial to ongoing progress.

Knowing that we have allies in our corner will go a long way toward easing our mind and allaying some of the fears about tackling goals, especially difficult goals and those that require an expenditure of time. Everyone who ever started recovery began from uncertainty and fear. Not knowing the future can be truly frightening.

Know that it is possible to get through this with perseverance and determination. It may not always be easy. It probably won’t be. But it isn’t out of the question, either. Life is precious. It is also short. Isn’t it better to live with the hope and expectation of doing the best to be happy and productive and fulfilled? One of the most positive aspects of perseverance is that it is self-renewing. The more we persevere, the more we want to continue, and the clearer the goal or objective becomes. Should obstacles arise, having a strong commitment to perseverance can sometimes lead to the discovery of alternative ways to achieve desired goals or different paths to the result.

Be comforted that millions of individuals now in recovery have been down this road and have found hope, comfort, peace, happiness, and love. We can too, as long as we persevere, never give in, and never give up.

* * *

This article was originally published on Psych Central.

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Why Good Mental Health Is Important and How to Promote It

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It might seem self-evident, yet evidently everyone doesn’t recognize the importance of good mental health. Beyond the fact that maintaining good mental health is crucial to overall well-being, finding ways to promote it is equally beneficial. Even those who have a mental health disorder, such as depression or anxiety, or develop one coincident with substance use disorder, can take proactive measures to achieve good mental health. What is good mental health and what helps promote it? Here are some points to consider.

Mental Health Defined

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), “Mental health is an integral and essential component of health.” Furthermore, the WHO constitution states, “Health is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

Being blessed with good mental health is also more than not having a mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, or anxiety. A mentally healthy person knows their capabilities, can cope with life’s normal stresses, work in a productive manner on a regular basis, and can contribute to the community. As a construct, good mental health is the foundation for effective functioning and well-being for both individuals and the communities where they live.

Promoting Mental Health

It takes action to promote good mental health. Promoting mental health encompasses various strategies, all with the aim of making a positive impact on mental health. These include programs and strategies to create living conditions and an environment supportive of mental health that allow people to both adopt and maintain healthier lifestyles. The range of available choices has the added benefit of increasing opportunities for everyone to experience the benefits of good mental health or improve their mental health.

Factors That Determine Mental Health

Mental health and mental health disorders are affected by multiple factors, just as is the case with illness and general health. Often these factors interact and include elements of a biological, social, and psychological nature.

Some of the clearest evidence, according to experts, is associated with various poverty indicators. Among them are low levels of education, inadequate housing, and low income. Risks to mental health for individuals and communities tend to increase as socioeconomic disadvantages increase and persist. In addition, disadvantaged individuals within communities are more vulnerable to mental health disorders. Some of this may be explained in part by other factors, such as rapid social change, risks of violence, having poor physical health, and feeling insecure and hopeless.

Good mental health is not possible without policies and an environment that respects and protects basic civil, cultural, political, and socio-economic rights. People must have the security and freedom of these rights to achieve and maintain good mental health.

Behavior and Mental Health

Certain mental, social, and behavioral health problems may interact with each other and intensify effects on a person’s behavior and well-being. Substance abuse, violence, and abuse against children and women are key examples, along with HIV/AIDS, anxiety, and depression. These problems tend to be more prevalent and difficult to cope with in conditions that include high unemployment, low income, stressful working conditions, gender discrimination, violations of human rights, unhealthy lifestyle, social exclusion, and limited education.

Cost-Effective Interventions to Promote Good Mental Health

Promoting good mental health doesn’t require million-dollar budgets. Low-cost, cost-effective interventions can raise mental health on an individual and community level. The following effective evidence-based interventions can help promote good mental health:

  • Early childhood interventions
  • School mental health promotion activities
  • Community development programs
  • Support for children
  • Improved housing policies
  • Violence prevention programs
  • Empowerment of women, including mentoring programs
  • Elder social support
  • Workplace mental health interventions
  • Programs targeted for vulnerable groups

Good Mental Health Basics for Children at Home

Promoting good mental health in children involves a number of things that parents can do in the home.

Unconditional love

All children need unconditional love from their parents. This love, and the associated acceptance and security, are the foundation for a child’s good mental health. Children need to be reassured that parental love doesn’t depend on getting good grades, doing well in sports, or how they look. Another important point to stress is that childhood mistakes and defeats are common, and should be expected and accepted. When parents show their unconditional love, and their children know this exists no matter what happens, their self-confidence will grow.

Confidence and self-esteem

Parents can nurture their child’s confidence and self-esteem by praising their efforts, either for things they attempt for the first time or those that they do well. This encourages the child to learn new things and explore the unknown. Other ways for parents to build their child’s confidence and self-esteem include providing a safe play environment, active involvement in their activities, giving assurance, and smiling.

Set realistic goals for children that match their abilities and ambition. As they get older, they’ll be able to choose more challenging goals that test their abilities. Avoid being critical or sarcastic. Instead, give children a pep talk if they fail a test or lose a game. They need reassurance, not criticism.

Be honest, yet don’t make light of parental failures or disappointments. Knowing their parents are human and sometimes make mistakes helps children to grow. Encourage them to do their best and enjoy learning. Trying new activities helps children learn teamwork, build self-esteem, and develop new skills.

Guidance and discipline

Children also need to know that some actions and behaviors and actions are inappropriate and unacceptable, whether at home, school, or elsewhere. As primary authority figures, parents need to provide their children with appropriate guidance and discipline. In the family, make sure discipline is fair and consistent, not having different rules for the child’s other siblings.

Set a good example as well, since kids won’t adhere to rules if parents break them. Also, when the child does something wrong, talk about their inappropriate behavior, but don’t blame the child. Explain the reason for the discipline and potential consequences their actions may involve. Do not nag, threaten, or bribe, since children quickly ignore those tactics and they’re ineffective as well. Try not to lose control around your child. If you do, talk about what happened and apologize. Providing parental guidance and discipline is not for controlling children, but to give them the opportunity to learn self-control.

Safe and secure surroundings

Children should feel safe and secure at home, and not be fearful there. Yet, despite parents’ and caregivers’ best intentions, children do experience fear, anxiety, become secretive or withdraw during certain circumstances and situations. It’s important to remember that fear is a real emotion for children. Trying to determine the cause of the fear and doing something to correct it is necessary. Children may show signs of fear that include aggressiveness, extreme shyness, nervousness, and changes in eating or sleeping patterns. Moving to a new neighborhood or school, or another stressful event may trigger fears, and being ill can bring on fear over going back to school.

Play opportunities with other children

Children should have opportunities to play with other children, both inside and outside the home. Playtime, in addition to being fun, helps children learn to solve problems, be creative, learn new skills, and exercise self-control. Playing tag, jumping, and running helps them become mentally and physically healthy. If there aren’t kids in the neighborhood that are age-appropriate, look into a children’s program at a recreation or park center, community center, or at school.

Encouraging, supportive teachers and caretakers

Teachers and caretakers play an instrumental role in promoting a child’s good mental health. As such, they should be actively involved in the development of the child, offering encouragement and support that’s consistent.

Resiliency and Good Mental Health

Resiliency is all about emotional balance. Yet, being mentally and emotionally healthy doesn’t mean that people never experience hard times or painful situations. Disappointments, loss, and change are part of life and cause even the healthiest individuals to feel anxious, sad, or stressed.

When a person is resilient, he or she can bounce back from adversities like losing a job or going through a relationship breakup, illness, grief, sadness, or other setbacks. They recognize the reality of the circumstance and do what they must to restore emotional balance.

People can teach themselves to become more resilient and improve their mental health. Learning to recognize emotions prevents a person from becoming trapped in negativity, or falling into a state of anxiety or depression. A good support network of family, co-workers, friends, counselors, and therapists can also help during times of need.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), resiliency is not a trait. It does, however, involve thoughts, behaviors, and actions that anyone can learn and develop. They suggest the following 10 ways to help build resilience:

  1. Accept that change is a part of living.
  2. Make connections.
  3. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
  4. Take decisive actions.
  5. Make progress toward goals.
  6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery.
  7. Nurture a positive self-view.
  8. Maintain a hopeful outlook.
  9. Take care of yourself.
  10. Keep things in perspective.

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This article was originally published on Psych Central.

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Here’s What Loneliness Can Do To You During COVID-19

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

 

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Loneliness is never easy to endure, yet during times of mandatory social isolation and distancing, such as millions of Americans are experiencing during the COVID-19 pandemic, it can be particularly damaging. Among its many effects, loneliness can exacerbate and bring upon a host of mental and physical conditions.

Social Isolation and Loneliness May Increase Inflammation

A study by researchers at the University of Surrey and Brunel University London found a potential link between social isolation and loneliness and increased inflammation. Although they said the evidence they looked at suggests that social isolation and inflammation may be linked, the results were less clear for a direct link between loneliness and inflammation. Researchers said both are linked with different inflammatory markers and that more studies are necessary to further understanding of how social isolation and loneliness contribute to poorer health outcomes.

What we do know about the stay-in-place recommendations during the COVID-19 pandemic is that those who live alone, or who may be infirm or sick and isolated from family members, may feel loneliness and being cut off from social contact more deeply. Many who suffer from comorbid conditions, may also experience an increase in inflammation.

Gene Expression May be Changed Through Loneliness

University of Chicago researchers found that loneliness triggers changes in gene expression, specifically leukocytes, the immune system cells that are involved in protecting the body from viruses and bacteria. Researchers found that chronically lonely people have an increased expression of genes that are involved with inflammation and a decreased expression of genes involved in antiviral response. Not only was loneliness and gene expression predictable a year or so later, but both were also apparently reciprocal, each being able in time to propagate the other.

It will be interesting to see results of studies conducted after the coronavirus pandemic abates somewhat to learn whether loneliness and gene expression are, indeed, reciprocal as well as what further associations between the two can be confirmed.

People With Dementia are at Higher Risk for Loneliness

A 2016 report from Alzheimer’s Australia found that people suffering from dementia and their caregivers are “significantly more lonely” than the general public and that their experience levels of loneliness are similar. Both those with dementia and their caregivers have smaller social circles and tend to see outsiders less frequently, although those with dementia are at even greater risk for loneliness due to diminished social contacts.

Since many individuals suffering from dementia, whether in nursing homes or being cared for by family members in their own residences, are more prone to loneliness than those who are not afflicted with the debilitating condition. Couple dementia with COVID-19 and the loneliness experienced may become overwhelming.

Loneliness Makes Managing Stress More Difficult

The stress associated with being quarantined for having or coming into contact with someone diagnosed with COVID-19 is all too real for thousands of individuals. The stress of caring for a loved one or family member quarantined for the virus in no way diminishes personal stress being cooped up and responsible for caregiving during the homebound stay.

First-responders and healthcare professionals caring for seriously ill patients with COVID-19 is another prevalent situation today, one that causes an increase in stress levels and may precipitate a feeling of loneliness even during a time of intense workload. Finding ways to manage stress during this extraordinary and unprecedented worldwide phenomenon is much more difficult.

Besides the immediate stress, there’s also secondary traumatic stress that people experience, resulting in feelings of loneliness, guilt, exhaustion, fear, and withdrawal. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), it’s important to actively seek out ways to cope with stress during COVID-19, taking good care of yourself, realizing that everyone responds differently to stress and to allow yourself time to recover after the direct threat is over.

Sleep Quality, Fatigue, Concentration and Indecisiveness Worsen With Loneliness

Research published in Lancet on the psychological impact of quarantine reported on a study that found of hospital staff who cared for or came into contact with those with SARS, being quarantined was itself most predictive of acute stress disorder. Furthermore, that same study found that quarantined individuals were more likely to report symptoms of irritability, indecisiveness, poor concentration, fatigue and exhaustion, and insomnia consistent with the loneliness and social isolation they felt during the quarantine.

Another study mentioned in the Lancet article cited the fact that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms were reported by hospital workers three years after quarantine, lending credence to the belief that loneliness and isolation can have long-lasting mental health consequences.

Those who are most at risk during the COVID-19 pandemic include those with compromised immune systems, underlying medical conditions, such as asthma, serious heart disease, obesity, diabetes, chronic kidney disease, and liver disease. Older individuals and those confined to nursing homes or long-term care facilities are considered highly vulnerable to experiencing severe illness from coronavirus.

Loneliness Serves as a Contributing Factor in Substance Abuse

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the current COVID-19 pandemic may hit those with substance abuse “particularly hard.” In particular, those who regularly take opioids or have diagnosed opioid use disorder (OUD), or use methamphetamines, those who smoke tobacco, cannabis, or vape, can be at special risk for serious coronavirus complications to their lungs. Homelessness, being hospitalized and isolated or quarantined at home also elevate the risk of increased loneliness.

Furthermore, among the general public, even those not quarantined due to contracting the virus or caring for someone who has it, serious stress and caregiver fatigue may lead them to try coping with drugs or alcohol. An increase in impulsive behavior, engaging in risky activities as a coping mechanism to avoid painful feelings of loneliness, loss, financial devastation, and a diminished sense of hope for the future appears also increasingly tied to the COVID-19 pandemic.

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This article was originally published on Psych Central.

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Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

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What We Are Learning About Ourselves From the COVID-19 Pandemic

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

 

Some say that life will never be the same again, that we’ll forever be haunted by the tragic loss of life, untold suffering, mental anguish, diminished economic prosperity, curtailment of basic human freedoms and so much more. On the other hand, what’s unfolding as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic is a reawakened sense of life’s meaning and purpose, recognition of our hidden strengths, and willingness to tap into our core goodness and generosity. We are learning a lot about ourselves, which benefits everyone.

Learning to quickly adapt

There is no doubt that what America and the rest of the world are experiencing is a reality that no one could have anticipated. Despite the fact that some in the medical community and those who’ve extensively researched viruses and past pandemics provided warnings of collective ill-preparedness for any pandemic of the magnitude of COVID-19, most people went about their lives unconcerned about potential catastrophic and widespread illness and death.

Now, however, since there is a new reality forcing a reassessment of how to live everyday life while maintaining social distancing, businesses, factories, and public and private places closed, we’re learning to quickly adapt. Long-held habits changed overnight. Commutes evaporated, replaced by the recommendation to stay in place.

Rediscovering our humanity

While there are instances of hoarding, selfishness, greed, and isolated crime, most people in America are united in a common bond: We are facing the pandemic, doing what we must to survive, and pledging to work tirelessly to find solutions to universally-experienced problems. In the process, we’re rediscovering our humanity.

Adopting technology at an accelerated rate

From online business meetings to connecting in-person and live with family members, loved ones and friends, we’re adopting technology at an accelerated rate. Social media networks, long a technological tool for connection, are even more important during a time when people are inside for weeks at a time. Mobile and online ordering for curbside pickup of staples, food, meals, and medicines is rapidly becoming the go-to way for Americans to conveniently and safely get what they need on an immediate basis. There’s a measure of confidence in adopting technology for these purposes since it means we’re not going to starve, run out of toilet paper, or much-needed medicine. Telehealth is also ramping up, as medical practitioners and patients connect via secure and HIPAA-compliant portals to ensure necessary medical and mental health needs are professionally addressed.

Discovering we are resilient

No one knows when the threat of the COVID-19 virus will subside, or if it will resurface again, perhaps seasonally, or undergo mutations that could be even more deadly. There is an unwavering focus on developing effective treatment medications and vaccines to combat coronavirus. Dealing with such uncertainty calls into question our personal and collective ability to bounce back. Yet, in the face of the crisis, we have discovered just how resilient we are. We have strengths we took for granted, and courage that we didn’t know we possessed. Recognize that resilience is a strength that can be cultivated and can then serve as a reservoir to utilize as needed.

Repurposing factories, tools and processes to meet urgent medical needs

From the automakers to plastics-makers to tobacco companies and virtually every type of business with machinery, equipment, and the processes and know-how to jumpstart an entirely new model, we’re repurposing assembly lines, retooling equipment and revamping processes to meet the country’s most urgent medical needs. These include making ventilators, N95 and surgical masks, gowns, gloves and other personal protective equipment (PPEs) so desperately needed by front-line medical personnel, first responders, police officers, and others serving a citizenry affected with coronavirus.

Becoming more generous

Parents raising their children at home during this challenging time can impart invaluable lessons about the importance of generosity by serving as examples. Put together shelf-stable items such as canned goods, flour, and baking items, spices, condiments, packaged milk, and other staples and deliver them to the doorstep of someone who’s unable to get out and shop, or who may be ill, or is scrimping just to buy food. Americans are also showing their increasing generosity by donating money online, funding critical resources for disadvantaged individuals. In times of calamities and natural disasters, people in the United States have always stepped up to the challenge, yet the COVID-19 pandemic is proving just how generous this nation’s inhabitants can be.

Realizing life is precious

A recent story about a couple married 51 years, contracted the coronavirus and died within minutes of each other showcases how quickly life can be snuffed out. The two were in good health until the husband, aged 74, came down with a cough, developed breathing problems, had to be hospitalized, was diagnosed with COVID-19, and was intubated. His wife, aged 72, wracked by stress, became ill and her condition progressively worsened. When doctors told their son his dad didn’t have long to live, he took his mother to the hospital where she was tested, proved positive for coronavirus, and put the couple together in the same hospital room. She died within six minutes of her husband.

No matter how well you feel at the moment, follow CDC recommendations on the COVID-19 virus to take precautions and stay home, only venturing out with proper face mask, gloves, maintaining the minimum social distancing guidelines. Send one person to the store for food, instead of shopping together. The least contact with others outside the home as possible is the best practice.

While no one knows how long they’ll live, everyone can recognize how precious life is – every second of it.

Living in the moment

Now, more than ever, we’re keenly aware that this moment is what we have. This is what is real, the here and now. There’s less time spent dwelling on the past and no reason to engage in endless self-berating, constantly recycling negative and painful memories. We’re finding constructive things to do, making plans, and encouraging each other to enjoy today.

Reconnecting with family and loved ones

Granted, living in close proximity indoors takes its toll and familial arguments are unavoidable at times. Yet, even with the fact that staying inside is somewhat claustrophobic and emotions can be overwhelming in some instances, we’ve found ways to reconnect with family and loved ones – even those living in the same house. There’s more time to talk with each other at the kitchen table while doing chores in the yard and around the house, helping each other prepare meals, clean up, watch favorite shows and movies on TV. Communicating with family and loved ones honestly and lovingly at this time is more important than ever. For those suffering anxiety and depression, providing reassurance and support is crucial. Indeed, coping with anxiety now demands attention. Ensuring uninterrupted contact with that person’s therapist via phone, telehealth visits, email, instant messaging is another way to show your love and support.

Learning perspective

Things that once were annoying and stress-producing may now seem largely irrelevant. Personal peeves about a co-worker’s behavior or workplace habits are perhaps a distant memory. What siblings and family members argued about prior to COVID-19 have little bearing on what everyone is going through now. In essence, all Americans are learning perspective, as what is really important becomes abundantly clear: each other.

*  *  *

This article was originally published on Psych Central.

Why It’s Important to Your Mental Health to Deal Constructively With Self-Doubt

My Best Ways to Deal with Frustration

How to Keep Frustration from Blocking Your Goals

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering From Depression

Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and daily positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories of the week from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.

 

Finding Resilience in the Midst of Challenges

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“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” – David Brinkley

One thing is certain, and that is that each day presents new challenges. It isn’t the fact that challenges occur that is most important, however, but how well an individual is able to adapt and bounce back from setbacks and go on to face daily challenges. The secret is resilience, yet a little known fact is that it is possible to find and tap into a wellspring of resilience even in the midst of challenges.

Are You Up for Today’s Challenges?

A common misconception for many people is to wonder if we’re up for the challenges today brings. For some, the go-to course of action is to do anything and everything to avoid what is happening today. More specifically, to avoid what responsibilities should be attended to today. The difference between someone who acknowledges, accepts, and rises to meet the challenges and one who shirks, denies, ignores, or blatantly refuses to take action may well be their attitude.

The good news is that this is one area where proactive steps can be taken to turn a negative outlook into a more positive one, thereby improving outcomes regardless of the challenge at hand. Hence, going back to the reservoir of resilience can produce dramatic results.

How to Deal With Difficult or Unpleasant Tasks

Many people find that they steel themselves to tackle difficult or unpleasant tasks experienced on a more or less regular basis. Another common behavioral tendency is to shy away from anything unknown. Why is that? For one thing, people often feel at a loss as to how to deal with the situation, not having sufficient (in their estimation) experience or knowledge to take on the task with any degree of success. For another, they may be afraid – either that they’ll fail at it or that they’ll succeed. Success may mean yet more challenges, and they may not feel all that up to the job just now.

What If You Have Depression or Other Mental Health Disorder?

This can be especially true for anyone dealing with the difficulties inherent in coping with a mental health disorder, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and others. Often, in addition to the uncertainty and self-doubt the disorder creates, the individual feels ill-equipped to make sound decisions. There’s also likely a fear that a previously-used coping mechanism or method may be faulty.

Even so, consider the fact that there’s probably a wealth of lessons just beneath the surface of the various daily challenges encountered, whether one is dealing with a mental illness or any other daily challenge. By failing to pay heed to these lessons or automatically rejecting them as unworkable, too difficult, indicative of failure or not worth the effort, that does a huge disservice to the individual. By way of illustration, think of the last time paying attention to a truth that’s become apparent during the course of tackling a difficult challenge made a tremendous difference in the task outcome. By tapping into that residual memory, it’s not only possible to benefit from resilience but also to jumpstart it this time. The circumstances may be different, yet our inherent knowledge source remains constant.

Finding Resilience in the Midst of Challenges

As to actually being able to find resilience in the midst of these challenges, this is a skill that can be developed and built over time and with practice. It’s possible to somehow stumble on a way to discern what’s hidden beneath or train ourselves to find the good in everything that we do, whether it is a daily task or taking on something that seems complex, demanding and out of normal expertise.

What we’ll find is that we’ve got more going for us than we realized. There are strengths that we each possess that will serve us well, but only if we give ourselves the opportunity to put them to work.

Look at challenges that arise and figure out ways that to possibly tackle them, where to start looking for the solution, how to implement it, when, and where to ask for help or marshal resources.

The stronger the foundation of resilience is, the more strength and resilience there’ll be to utilize when something unexpected threatens to derail progress in working through challenges. Indeed, every action taken makes us stronger we get stronger – as long as we constantly strive to learn something from our efforts, successful immediately or not.

How This Works in Real Life

How does this work in real life? What is an example that we can all identify with? Suppose we’ve attempted a task and find that we run into a roadblock of considerable proportion? We’ve tackled something that really goes beyond our area of experience or knowledge and believe we can’t go any further. There are, however, ways to look at this. Granted, it could be marked as a failure. On the other hand, it is also possible to acknowledge what was learned in the process. That may well be that we have the strength to take on difficult challenges and not shy away from them, or we’ve learned when we need to step aside, possibly turn over the task to someone with more experience and/or follow by their side so as to learn how to do it ourselves.

What we can take from the experience is the fact that all of this adds to our residual body of resilience, knowledge, experience, and self-confidence. While total success may not have been achieved this time out, this should not deter us from tackling challenges again. In fact, we’ll likely find that we’re more hopeful than ever, given the fact that we’ve learned how to make use of our innate resilience to identify and pursue innovative and workable solutions to everyday challenges.

Suppose others are critical of our efforts? Those are neither true friends nor supporters of our goals. Keep attuned to giving challenges complete effort and focus, doing the best possible in the moment. What comes out of this is something profound in return, and that is a belief in our ability to succeed in the end. Remember, as humans, we learn when we act. The more we learn, the more we grow. The more we grow, the stronger our resilience reservoir becomes.

*  *  *

This article was originally published on Psych Central.

Why It’s Important to Your Mental Health to Deal Constructively With Self-Doubt

My Best Ways to Deal with Frustration

How to Keep Frustration from Blocking Your Goals

How to Start Making Plans When You’re Recovering From Depression

Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

To automatically get my posts, sign up for my RSS feed.   

Want to get my free newsletter? Sign up here to receive uplifting messages and daily positive quotes in my Daily Thoughts. You’ll also get the top self-help articles and stories of the week from my blog and more. I also invite you to like me on Facebook, follow me on LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest.