How to Keep Fear from Stealing Your Life

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“Fear is a sneaky thief, stealing away precious moments of your life.” – Elizabeth Lesser

 

Everyone has been afraid at some point. If we’re in touch with our inner selves, we know right away when that negative emotion starts clutching at our hearts. It’s a feeling of coldness, one that sneaks up and grabs hold.

You can try to shrug it off, but that’s not always easy, and it rarely works. You can tell yourself this too shall pass, yet not really believe it. The truth about fear, however, is that it can be overcome. Here are some ways to do just that.

Acknowledge that the emotion you feel is fear.

The first step to overcoming fear is to acknowledge the emotion you feel. You must be able to recognize fear for what it is so that it cannot claim power over you, shutting down your ability to live a normal, happy and productive life. Fear is different from sadness or anger or disappointment. Called the fight-or-flight response, fear prepares the body to cope with danger. Fear produces distinct physiological symptoms, including increased breathing, heart rate, muscle tension, sweating, dry mouth, trembling and shaking, and butterflies in the stomach, to name a few.

Keep a list of effective coping strategies handy.

To do something to combat fear, it’s helpful to have a list of strategies and techniques that have worked well for you in the past in overcoming this destructive emotion. The time to figure out what to do isn’t when you’re in the grip of fear. That’s when you’re least likely to think rationally and the decisions you make may not be the best. It’s also best to keep your coping strategies and techniques on a written list so that they’re always available.

Remember that fear only controls you if you allow it.

This might be tough to keep top-of-mind, but you are the one in control. You make the decisions. Decide now that fear has no place in your power structure. Only you have the power. It’s up to you to exercise it.

Constantly revise your list of goals.

When you have activities that you look forward to and have a plan how to get started, you’re much less likely to succumb to fear. It is, however, normal to be a little apprehensive when starting something new, and referring to your list of goals is a good way to reinforce your commitment to them. The goal list helps motivate you to overcome all hurdles you may encounter, including fear.

Seek support from your network.

You’re not the only person who’s ever experienced the kind of paralysis and indecision that fear can produce. Talk with those you know and trust in your network to see how they handle fear. Just having their support and encouragement can go a long way toward you being able to move past fear and keep it from stealing your life.

Acknowledge you’re not perfect.

Perfectionism can really get in the way of pursuing goals. When you feel like you’re falling short and don’t see how to make it perfect, this can prompt feelings of fear. By acknowledging that you’re not perfect you take the wind out of fear’s sails. This gives you the breathing room you need to continue, without letting fear control you or reduce your dreams and goals to dust.

Have faith to get through today.

Most of what causes fear doesn’t last indefinitely. Things generally look different 24 hours later. When you rely on your faith, believe in your ability to make it through today, you’re doing more than buying time. Your subconscious mind is working on ways to overcome the fear, find a solution or workaround, and reminding you that you have hidden strengths to draw on.

If the fear continues unabated, however, it might be time to seek professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist, a social worker or other mental health professional. There is no reason for you to go on suffering the negative and life-stealing effects of fear or anxiety when psychotherapy can help you overcome this profoundly debilitating emotion.

 

This article was originally published on PsychCentral.com http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/12/07/how-to-keep-fear-from-stealing-your-life/

 

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5 Tips on How to Get Started When There’s Work to Do

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“A feeling of aversion or attachment toward something is your clue that there’s work to be done.” – Ram Dass

 

Ever wake up with a feeling of dread about some project or task you’ve got on your list of things to do today? This is a common feeling that no one likes but must learn how to deal with. There are also times when the opposite is true. Sometimes you wake up knowing what you must do today and just can’t wait to get started.

Either feeling – aversion or excitement – is a clear sign that there’s work to be done and you need to do it. The way you deal with either emotion will affect not only your motivation to keep going,

particularly when the going gets rough, but also the resulting outcome.

How can you turn dread or anticipation into action that makes sense, is effective, and allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment and increased self-esteem? Here are some tips to help get you started.

  • Take a minute to process the emotion – and don’t be overcome by it.

No doubt the prospect of diving into a mountain of tax receipts on deadline is the last thing you want to do, or you might just be so eager to get on the road on your vacation that you slip and fall out of bed. Take a minute to process whatever emotion you’re feeling before you get up. This gives your mind time to arrive at a game plan and put your thoughts in order before you need to do the work. Be aware that conflicting emotions can occur simultaneously. That’s OK. Acknowledge them, then proceed.

  • Learn to separate what’s nice from what’s necessary.

Both will not be true. You might find it pleasant to think about taking a swim in the ocean but you know that report for work demands your immediate attention. It might feel great to lounge around all day in your sweats but you’ve got clients to see, and such attire is no way to make a good impression. It’s fine to indulge yourself in thinking about what’s nice, but don’t dally. Get on with what’s necessary. The bonus here is that by dwelling briefly on what beckons gives you temporary satisfaction before you dive into the work that must be done.

Either take projects in order or arrange them according to a prioritization that works for you. Do the most difficult one first to make some headway at it, or start with some quick and easy ones you can get out of the way so that you feel a sense of making progress. Once you finish one, cross it off your list. This is a visual reminder that effort equals accomplishment.

  • If you’ve fallen behind, work out a plan that won’t overwhelm you.

Everybody gets swamped at times. Instead of tossing your hands in the air and writing off the project or task as hopeless, figure out a plan or approach that will be effective and won’t overwhelm you. This is a case where the intention to underpromise and overdeliver will pay off nicely. You’ll gradually become accustomed to the pace you’re comfortable maintaining and can better estimate the amount of time and effort specific tasks will take.

  • Recognize that work – what you do — is the best way to show who and what you are.

Another way to get started with work to be done is to keep in mind that your output is a clear way to show others who and what you are. Since no two people approach a project the same way, this shows your uniqueness, talent, decision-making ability and willingness to keep going until the job is done. You want to put forth your best efforts. This requires that you jump in and act. Perseverance, willingness to accept responsibility for your output and taking pride in your accomplishments are all part of what it takes to get the job done.

 

This article was originally published on PsychCentral.com http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2017/01/01/5-tips-on-how-to-get-started-when-theres-work-to-do/

 

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10 Tips to Start the New Year Right

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It’s 2017, time to get off on the right foot. All the procrastination, stuffing yourself, indulging to excess, staying up too late – that’s got to go. Replace those bad habits and pure laziness with healthier behaviors.

Trust me. It’s not that difficult.

If you want to jumpstart a pattern of living life to the fullest, feeling joy and fulfilment as well as peace, some of these tips may be just what you need.

Set Your Priorities

You must set your own priorities. Never let others do this for you. The corollary to this advice is to never allow others to impose their priorities on you. To live according to someone else’s wishes is no way to enjoy life. That’s a charade, not something you want to pursue. When you make your own choices, prioritizing what’s important and what’s not, you’re in control. This is a top recommendation for starting off the new year right.

Be Accountable

Remember that what you do has consequences. Every word and action you take has reverberations, many of which you may never know about. People look up to you and model their behaviors after yours. Live with integrity, owning your responsibilities as well as your faults, making good on the mistakes you’ve made.

Prize Self-Improvement

Make it a point to continually improve. Whether it’s learning a new skill, taking a class, getting involved in a hobby, working on interpersonal communication or something else, self-improvement is integral to living a vibrant, purposeful life. The goal is to achieve the best you can, to be the best person you can be. Accept nothing less.

Know Your Limitations

In your drive to improve yourself, keep in mind that you must know your limitations. This doesn’t mean that you don’t push past your comfort zone. You need to do that to grow. Push, but not too far.

Recognize Opportunities

You can train yourself to recognize opportunities. In fact, being able to identify an opportunity is the first step toward success in any new endeavor.

Rely on Your Strengths

There are going to be rough times, periods when the only thing you’ve got going for you is your inner strength. This is what you call on to get you through problems, tragedies, pain, sorrow and suffering. It’s also your inner strength that will help you navigate complex situations, difficult challenges and obstacles.

Maintain Balance

It’s important to maintain a sense of balance in life. If you veer too far out in one area, rein it in. It doesn’t matter if its work-home balance, or diet-exercise-sleep balance, or another kind of balance. What does matter is keeping things in harmony. Lack of sleep and pushing yourself mercilessly won’t result in success. Just the opposite, in fact. But maintaining good self-care, recognizing stress and employing adequate coping strategies, taking time for fun and relaxation – these will help you maintain balance. Now’s as good a time as any to get started.

Be Genuine in Relationships

One of the most powerful resources you have can be summed up in one word: relationships. But just having mere acquaintances isn’t enough. To gain the most from relationships, you need to be genuine always. No phoning it in. A key aspect of being genuine is learning to be an active listener.

Speak Clearly

How many times have you thought one thing and said another? It’s no wonder others misinterpret your intentions. You’re not being clear. People aren’t mind readers. If you want to convey something, speak clearly. It’s also important to say what you mean and do what you say. This builds personal integrity, inspires trust and makes others view you as reliable.

Dream Big

If you’ve given up on something that you once thought important, maybe it’s time to revisit that dream or goal. Just because the time wasn’t right before doesn’t mean it is lost for good. With respect to goals and dreams in general, dare to dream big. Nothing inspires and motivates like a heartfelt goal. Consider the fact that if it means so much to you, it’s something to aspire to and figure out ways to bring the dream or goal to reality. This last part is vital. It’s not enough to dream. You must be willing to act on your intention.

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Related articles:

5 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

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Self-Care: The Most Important Person to Take Care of Is You

 

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